Copypasta thread

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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:36 pm

>stopped talking to Josh after graduation
>a summer later, me and two other long time friends go to visit our other friend who moved down south
>we all knew and where forced to hang out with Josh in middle school
>of course, Josh hears about this later, and becomes butt pained
>his fucking mother had to the gall to ask our mothers why he wasn't invited
>a fuckin 19 year old still whining to his parents
>nothing comes of that, because our parents laughed it off
>flash forward a few years later
>down at friend's house again
>Josh is brought up, because we where talking about people who 'fell off the face of the earth'
>friend w're visiting tells us that he come to visit a year prior
>came to visit, more like invited himself over because he was down south on business
>turns out he went on birthright, or whatever jews do
>became "so moved" that he went full ortho jew
>lives in an apartment where ortho jew wives have to use the rear entrance, and have to be home by sundown, or they'll turn into, i dunno, pork or something
>complained the entire time that everything in the house "wasn't kosher" for him to eat
>friend's dad, who is a pretty cool dude, tells him to get the fuck out and stop whining, because he's had enough of his bickering
>never heard about him again
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by appaloosa horse on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:36 pm

what the fuck

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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:37 pm

>loses once after winning for a long time
>"I don't want to play anymore"
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:38 pm

appaloosa horse wrote:what the fuck
greentext copypastas mixed with original content threads that pop up on /v/ some time about dickass kids they used to hang out with
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:41 pm

>Playing Smash bros 64 with friends.
>Annoying friend we all hate but put up with is arguing that Samus is a robot.
>I tell him she's a woman, if you beat the games in less than a couple hours she takes the suit off and you see she's a woman.
>Continues claiming she's a robot.
>Ask him if he's ever played a Metroid game
>"No."
>"Well then you don't know shit."
>He starts to get mad and is just yelling "Samus is a ROBOT!"
>We tell him to calm down and stop freaking out because he's wrong.
>He gets so angry he stomps out of the house and starts walking home.
>As he walks through the backyard we shout at him and make tard noises.
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by appaloosa horse on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:44 pm

why are you copypasting /v/ shit lol

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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:47 pm

it's funny
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:47 pm

>Pretty nice bro from Kindergarten to Middle School
>Played games as usual and for fun
>Mysteriously moves away and never knew where he went
>Years later University year
>He adds me on facebook
>Starts talking about his mspaint drawn gay furry boyfriends with sex parts and how the solve the world population is by making everyone gay and one of the reasons why taxes are really high
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by appaloosa horse on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:48 pm

im reading through these and so far none of them are particularly amusing

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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:50 pm

I've punched him out a few times over Pokemon cards before, along with just other stupid shit
>tries to trade me those "RARE" japanese pokemon cards
>And he even tried to sell them to other kids
>Fossil deck comes out a month later in the US
>me and friends beat the shit out of him for fucking us over
>Got our cards back, but not the money
>next week, bringing Pokemon cards to school was meet with detentions

>He would also whine in any other game that only he could be this character, and no one else.
>And also pulled the classic "THIS GAME SUCKS" whenever he was losing
>Also resorted to slamming on the space bar when it was your turn in Worms Armageddon
>"YOU SHOULD OF BEEN PAYING ATTENTION! MY HOUSE! MY RULES!"
>oh of course he got pissed when you did it to him
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:50 pm

appaloosa horse wrote:im reading through these and so far none of them are particularly amusing
well i guess they're not "funny" they just hit way too close to home for a lot of us so we can't help but love them

so basically it's ""cringeworthy""
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by appaloosa horse on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:51 pm

they're not even cringeworthy they're just "eh whatever, more shit from /v/ nobody cares about"

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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:56 pm

>9-10 yrs old
>army brat, moved around heaps
>living on base, go to local school with all other army brats
>was pretty sweet, we all hung out together and only lived a short bike ride away from each other
>pretty tight knit group, even with some of the older kids
>but there always had to be that one fucker
>pale, fat, lispsss
>me and my mates used to loan each other games, always a trade though never one way.
>he wants to borrow my pride and joy, Pokemon Ruby.
>I didn't want to give it to him, but he had so many games I wanted to try and I had already played Ruby for probably 200 hours
>I agree, can't remember what i got in return
>fast foward like 2 weeks
>he wants his game back, so I bring it to school
>you got Ruby with you?
>oh...... sorry anon, I think i lost it on the oval this morning
>me being a trusting little kid couldn't smell the bullshit
>W-what? lost it? can you find it again?
>nah I have to go this afternoon, I can't hang around
>but I'll take my game back since you bought it to school
>mfw I think back to those hours spent walking across that fucking patch of brown grass looking for a GBA cartridge that so obviously wasn't there
> mfw he was probably at home playing it the whole time
>fast forward another week
>decide to tell my dad, didn't know what hew could do but just wanted to talk about it
>as soon as i tell him, he knows whats up
>we drive straight round to this fucks house
>his dad opens the door, they talk it out for a couple of minutes
>mfw he got his shit smacked in by his father and I got a new copy of Ruby because he wouldn't give up the old one
>all my mates and pretty much the whole school knows about it
>everyone ignores this kid for the rest of the year
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 8:56 pm

appaloosa horse wrote:they're not even cringeworthy they're just "eh whatever, more shit from /v/ nobody cares about"
o. k.
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 9:19 pm

>be in elementary
>Pokemon cards are popular
>friends and I bring our binder of Pokemon card to show off to each other
>poor kids want us to give him our cards
>he tells the teacher
>force to give our cards to him
>complain to our parents
>they complain to school board
>poor kid have to give it back
>claim his dad pawned it
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 9:21 pm

>in like grade 3 or 4 or something
>everyone's obsessed with yu gi oh
>i save up all my lunch money and allowances for the first half of the year
>buy the sky dragon egyptian god
>everyone on my dick about it
>have the entire school offering me trades, want to get their grubby hands on my card
>not happenin
>this one kid with cereberal? palsy comes along, says hell give me 10 dollars for it
>explain to jonas that it cost me more than 10 dollars
>he gets mad, saying it's not fair, usual stuff
>recess ends
>go into class
>jonas isnt there
>15 or so minutes later, teacher pulls me out of class
>jonas told the teacher i stole the card
>teacher buys it because he's a tard
>ask her to call my mom who brought me to the card shop the day before
>teacher calls home twice, no answer
>i wont give it to the teacher, tell her to ask other kids in the class
>they confirm it's mine, teacher apologizes, jonas bursts out fucking crying
>over a card that wasn't his in the first place
>decide to leave card at home in case of jonas shenanigans
>next day, jonas jumps on my back at recess, screaming about the card
>i end up getting in more trouble than him for "antagonizing him"
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 9:26 pm

>he was our school's naruto kid
>he watched it constantly, and was basically the RL equivalent of the "COULD ANYONE BEAT..." copypasta
>one year rich kid in the class invites every guy in the class to his birthday
>we end up playing melee on his new gamecube
>no one knows how to play except for like 2 kids who owned it
>we are about 12 at this point (i think?)
>anyways, it's jonas' turn
>he can't fucking get a single hit on anyone
>just jumping around on mewtwo because he recognized him
>here's where naruto comes in, the entire time he was complaining about the lack of naruto
i forgot to mention that he hates me because of a few things over the years
>getting really mad, im not even playing
>"IF NARUTO WERE IN THIS GAME, I WOULD BEAT ALL OF YOU"
>eventually runs out of stock
>puts controller down calmly, sits down, and puts his hands together in a ninja pose
>think that this is his way of dealing with stress
>not even close
>he sees me staring
>screams something something jusiu (i've never watched the show)
>stands up, charges me, punches me square in the gut
>i wasn't a very large kid, but neither was he
>i punch him in the head out of reflex
>"AHHHHHHHHHHHH"
>crying histerically
>ohshitohshitohshit
>calm him down, decide not to let him play anymore
>about 20 minutes of silence
>"...if naruto were in this game i would win."
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Tue Jun 17, 2014 9:29 pm

>That kid who was weirdly obsessed with family-friendly shit like Scooby-Doo and Adams Family when everyone else was into Dragonball Z, Gundam and Reboot
>Always talks about it and is constantly trying to get others to share in his interest, but only gets mild acknowledgement except from some girl who also really liked Scooby-fucking-Doo
>Nothing against him personally, so I'm one of the few people who is friendly with him, despite his reputation of being a pussy
>One day he invites me over to his house and can feel the desperation in his voice
>Pity yes
>Get to his house, mention Toonami is on, thinking I can "sober him up"
>He looks nervous and says "I can't watch that channel"
>Brings out of VHS tape
>Fucking Adams Family movie jesus christ
>Half-way through the movie, can't believe where I am and what I'm doing
>His mother (I guess?) keeps silently going from upstairs to the fridge to back upstairs every few minutes
>Movie is almost over, tell him I have to go home now, 'parent's orders'
>"Oh man, go home then!!!"
>mfw
>Later find out that his dad was some alcoholic nutjob who beat the shit out of him
>Genuinely feel sorry for him because he seemed like he might have been nice if he had normal parents
>This doesn't come across to anyone, however, as my mind began picturing his dad slapping him to the Adam's Family theme song every time they snap their fingers
>Dunna dunna
>slap slap
>Dunna dunna
>slap slap
>Dunna dunna
>Dunna dunna
>Dunn dunna
>slap slap
>End up laughing involuntarily to the news of his dad wrecking his ass, everyone looks at me like I just shot JFK
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by ruff on Tue Jun 17, 2014 9:51 pm

couldn't this go in the copypasta thread
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by appaloosa horse on Tue Jun 17, 2014 10:41 pm

yeah it probs could: merged

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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Wed Jun 18, 2014 12:22 am

it's not really copypasta but w/e
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by appaloosa horse on Wed Jun 18, 2014 5:22 am

in any case maybe you should consider not making a fucktillion posts in here because nobody cares about that kid for one and for two its hard to really say anything about any of these so this thread will pretty quickly reach a point where it's just you making posts that impossible to reply to

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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Wed Jun 18, 2014 2:18 pm

hold on i've got a killer

I used to know what you might call "that kid" in middle school. He always smelled like he shit himself and wore the same clothes for fucking weeks on end. That is, his warddrobe consisted exclusively of real run-of-the-mill, generic pajamas. The kind where it's a completely solid color, the shirt buttons up and has a pocket for some reason and there's a matching pair of pants. He wore that to school and he wouldn't take the fuckers off until they were fucking made of stains and smelled so bad that he actually noticed.

He was your typical chubby, long-haired greasy neckbeard, except it was the 7th grade and he couldn't grow facial hair. Actually, that's not entirely true, he grew a really fucking weird, thin mustache that was composed of only the barest number of hairs. But his upper lip always looked wet, so you couldn't help but notice that it was there. Anyways, he liked to bill himself as a "video game programmer." The truth was he could only program terrible ass text adventures in Visual Basic, and it was a damn miracle if they last more than 3 minutes and weren't easy as shit. He brought these fucking retarded games into school every other week, burned to blank CD-ROMS, and he'd ask everyone to play them in the computer lab.

They were always really retarded. Your completely predictable "you wake up in a dark cell or an alien spaceship or in a forest" kind of deal. Except for one he brought in that was different. That's not to say it was actually good, or even really an actual fucking game to be frank, just that it stood out among his other "releases."

This one, he called "Happy Mommy." And I'm the sorry sack of shit he insisted should play it.

It started out in the usual command prompt window his games always had, with the pointless ass beginning text asking me to type "go" to begin the game. Except this time when I typed go it didn't start out in typical text-adventure style telling me I woke up somewhere and there's a useful item in the room and four directions.

This time, it started out saying "happy happy mommy 1 day gone" just like that, in all lowercase, as was standard fare in this fucking weirdo's dumb ass games. I wasn't really sure what the fuck to do at this point so I asked him and he told me to type in "mommy." So that's what I did and it returned,

"happy happy mommy 2 day gone"

Again, just like that, the "s" missing after "day" and everything. I didn't really know what else to do so I typed in "mommy" again. This time I got,

"happy happy mommy 3 day gone"

Now, I tried to type "mommy" again, but it didn't work this time, so I asked him what the hell I'm supposed to do now and he said to type "feel good." So I did and I got,

"happy happy mommy 4 day gone
happy mommy feel good
happy mommy feel good!!"

And then it just closed itself. I went on with the rest of my day, completely fucking confused at what the shit he made me play. He came to school the next day, and that is the last time I ever saw him. Really spooky ending, I guess. The whole class was obviously wondering what happened to him, and all the teachers made it seem real mysterious and creepy because they were real insistent that we don't talk fucking about it. No one found out what the hell happened for the rest of our entire school, from 8th grade to high school graduation, outside of the obviously bullshit rumors.

Years later, long after I was a grown adult, I came back into contact with one of my middle school teachers and we chatted up a bit about the "good ol' days" and all the retarded assholes that went to my middle school. I guess because I was an adult he felt more comfortable around me, even if he was still way older than me, so I asked him what the hell ever happened to "that kid."

Now, this next part, I swear to God, is not made up. Apparently, over the week before he disappeared, this kid's mom had fucking hanged herself, and since he was an only child and she was raising him on her own, and no one in their neighborhood really knew them, no one fucking knew about it and the kid just kept going to school and coming home to her corpse for five days before someone took notice of this and looked into it. And, according to this particular teacher, this kid, I shit you the fuck not, had been fucking his mom's corpse almost the entire time. I

was never actually told what happened to him after child protective services took him away, and I'm not sure anyone knows.

-
this one scared the daylights out of me i was on the computer at like 2 am and i went THE FUCK to bed

also i have personal stories to tell about this brandon kid
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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by appaloosa horse on Wed Jun 18, 2014 5:33 pm

i read the last two sentences of that and seriously what the FUCK

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Re: Copypasta thread

Post by subtract 50 from posts on Wed Jun 18, 2014 10:51 pm

yeah it scared the daylights out of me but look at it this way, the games main phrase wasn't something somebody his age would write so its just a creepypasta he made off the top of his head but this guy is the next Hitchcock
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