Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

View previous topic View next topic Go down

Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by sparky on Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:40 am

Luckily I reside upstairs. Nevertheless, once every 5 minutes or so an ant comes trotting along my desk. First I place a coin or another object in its path. This confuses the ant, causing it to run off in a different direction, but my finger is waiting. I block its path with my finger. It runs in the opposite direction, but I anticipate this. Soon the ant is encircled by pens and other barriers, and if it attempts to climb them, swift punishment is issued. The ant remains in my arena. Then I take my knife, and nimbly place the tip onto one of its legs, holding it in place, then I press down hard and chop the leg off. The ant does not run, it merely enters a craze moving all around wildly. I allow it to suffer like this for a minute or so, chopping off another leg if it appears not to be in pain. Then comes a decision. Sometimes I will wait for another ant, and place it in the arena to see what it does. Occasionally it will pick up its comrade, and run off, but this is an offense punishable by death. Other times, I will merely watch the ant until it gives up. It will stop moving all but one leg. At this point I give in and slice the ant in two, putting it out of its misery. I save the corpses in a small pile, and once I have a considerable stack, I scatter them in my arena. This is where the real fun begins.

I venture outside to my back yard and find a red ant. This is my gladiator. I return to my room and place him in among the corpses. He wanders, confused. I do not let him leave. I pound the desk near him with my fingers, scaring him. I toughen my gladiator up until another ant comes along. I place the intruder into the arena. The red ant will go after the black ant, and they engage in mortal combat. If the red ant wins, another corpse decorates my arena. If the black ant vanquishes his foe, he wins the prize of life. I carry him in my hands and bring him downstairs and place him among his comrades. If he put up a good fight, I give him a warriors welcome and feed his colony with bread. If he barely defeated the red ant, he receives no food, only the gift of life. This is how i spent my afternoons.

_________________
blow trees nigggga
avatar
sparky
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING

Posts : 2776
Join date : 2012-05-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by thaumeowurge on Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:43 am

not long enough, did read

_________________
all that time not masturbating oughta fix make them as good as you are here

they celebrate no-fap thursday



(colin mochrie buffer zone)

fly me to the moon and let me swing among the stars
let me see what spring is like on jupiter and mars
avatar
thaumeowurge

Posts : 229
Join date : 2013-01-30
Location : pa pa l' americano

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by appaloosa horse on Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:43 am

tangy wrote:Luckily I reside upstairs. Nevertheless, once every 5 minutes or so an ant comes trotting along my desk. First I place a coin or another object in its path. This confuses the ant, causing it to run off in a different direction, but my finger is waiting. I block its path with my finger. It runs in the opposite direction, but I anticipate this. Soon the ant is encircled by pens and other barriers, and if it attempts to climb them, swift punishment is issued. The ant remains in my arena. Then I take my knife, and nimbly place the tip onto one of its legs, holding it in place, then I press down hard and chop the leg off. The ant does not run, it merely enters a craze moving all around wildly. I allow it to suffer like this for a minute or so, chopping off another leg if it appears not to be in pain. Then comes a decision. Sometimes I will wait for another ant, and place it in the arena to see what it does. Occasionally it will pick up its comrade, and run off, but this is an offense punishable by death. Other times, I will merely watch the ant until it gives up. It will stop moving all but one leg. At this point I give in and slice the ant in two, putting it out of its misery. I save the corpses in a small pile, and once I have a considerable stack, I scatter them in my arena. This is where the real fun begins.

I venture outside to my back yard and find a red ant. This is my gladiator. I return to my room and place him in among the corpses. He wanders, confused. I do not let him leave. I pound the desk near him with my fingers, scaring him. I toughen my gladiator up until another ant comes along. I place the intruder into the arena. The red ant will go after the black ant, and they engage in mortal combat. If the red ant wins, another corpse decorates my arena. If the black ant vanquishes his foe, he wins the prize of life. I carry him in my hands and bring him downstairs and place him among his comrades. If he put up a good fight, I give him a warriors welcome and feed his colony with bread. If he barely defeated the red ant, he receives no food, only the gift of life. This is how i spent my afternoons.

ooh
some of amsk8r's quality copy pasta

_________________

this place is old as fuck

avatar
appaloosa horse
wo ist dein gott jetzt?

Posts : 3361
Join date : 2012-05-17
Location : eaten aliiiiiiiiiiiive

View user profile http://otrepository.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by maybe avatar on Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:43 am

sounds exciting
avatar
maybe avatar

Posts : 2800
Join date : 2012-05-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by Stark Rain on Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:45 am

Seems fun

_________________
We get by in a world with no conscience
By shutting it out and being anonymous
avatar
Stark Rain

Posts : 195
Join date : 2013-02-05

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by [당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd on Mon Feb 11, 2013 1:47 am

it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
avatar
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd

Posts : 1979
Join date : 2012-08-26
Age : 19
Location : twitch milks an old gimmic­k™

View user profile http://ihaveabigegosoimadeasite.weebly.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by maybe avatar on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:21 am

[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
avatar
maybe avatar

Posts : 2800
Join date : 2012-05-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by sparky on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:24 am

maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU

_________________
blow trees nigggga
avatar
sparky
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING

Posts : 2776
Join date : 2012-05-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by maybe avatar on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:29 am

tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
avatar
maybe avatar

Posts : 2800
Join date : 2012-05-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by [당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:31 am

maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this

it's so beautiful i'm crying sperm cells
avatar
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd

Posts : 1979
Join date : 2012-08-26
Age : 19
Location : twitch milks an old gimmic­k™

View user profile http://ihaveabigegosoimadeasite.weebly.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by maybe avatar on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:32 am

[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this

it's so beautiful i'm crying sperm cells
it'll get worse
much much worse
avatar
maybe avatar

Posts : 2800
Join date : 2012-05-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by sparky on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:32 am

maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
IM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

_________________
blow trees nigggga
avatar
sparky
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING

Posts : 2776
Join date : 2012-05-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by [당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:33 am

tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
IM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT

it's the expendables 3 plot
avatar
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd

Posts : 1979
Join date : 2012-08-26
Age : 19
Location : twitch milks an old gimmic­k™

View user profile http://ihaveabigegosoimadeasite.weebly.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by maybe avatar on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:44 am

tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
IM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT
Chapter 2- Why am i doing this
Amsk8r was quiet for several minuters, thinking of his battle plan. The pink pony just sat there with a puzzled look on her face. "Why are you just sitting there like that? Come on and join the party!", the pony said. She asked him this question twice more. It was a this point that ammy had tired of her questions and deftly snapped her neck. He looked around, making sure that he wasn't seen. He wasn't. He resumed his planning. He knew that this must be the world of the colorful pony faggots and while he did not know why he was there, he knew that he was there for a reason.

i'm not sure if i want to continue
avatar
maybe avatar

Posts : 2800
Join date : 2012-05-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by [당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:45 am

maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
IM ON THE EDGE OF MY SEAT
Chapter 2- Why am i doing this
Amsk8r was quiet for several minuters, thinking of his battle plan. The pink pony just sat there with a puzzled look on her face. "Why are you just sitting there like that? Come on and join the party!", the pony said. She asked him this question twice more. It was a this point that ammy had tired of her questions and deftly snapped her neck. He looked around, making sure that he wasn't seen. He wasn't. He resumed his planning. He knew that this must be the world of the colorful pony faggots and while he did not know why he was there, he knew that he was there for a reason.

i'm not sure if i want to continue

you proceed under the demand of kim jong un and pierce brosnan
avatar
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd

Posts : 1979
Join date : 2012-08-26
Age : 19
Location : twitch milks an old gimmic­k™

View user profile http://ihaveabigegosoimadeasite.weebly.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by spinnythings on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:50 am

maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
horribly written do you think this is 50 shades of gray faggot 0/1000
avatar
spinnythings

Posts : 560
Join date : 2012-05-19
Age : 61

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by appaloosa horse on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:54 am

spinnythings wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
horribly written do you think this is 50 shades of gray faggot 0/1000
meenie

_________________

this place is old as fuck

avatar
appaloosa horse
wo ist dein gott jetzt?

Posts : 3361
Join date : 2012-05-17
Location : eaten aliiiiiiiiiiiive

View user profile http://otrepository.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by [당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:55 am

spinnythings wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
horribly written do you think this is 50 shades of gray faggot 0/1000

manslut
avatar
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd

Posts : 1979
Join date : 2012-08-26
Age : 19
Location : twitch milks an old gimmic­k™

View user profile http://ihaveabigegosoimadeasite.weebly.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by sparky on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:55 am

[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:
spinnythings wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
tangy wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:it's ammy fanfiction

truly THE best in fanfiction
ammy and the magical portal to equestria
shall i begin writing
DO IT NIGGER

I DARE YOU
Chapter 1- Retardation Ahoy!
One day in the magical land of Canada, Amks8r was enjoying his customary meal of pizza and being the greatest user on otx, when suddenly he got sucked into a portal thing from his computer. He landed ass first in a field. The field was full of bright flowers and small creatures going about their business. A pink horse approached him, confused as to what he was. She told him that her name was Pinkie Pie and she was wondering what he was doing in a field instead of at a party she was throwing. Amsk8r instantly knew what he had to do.

i will continue this
horribly written do you think this is 50 shades of gray faggot 0/1000

manslut
bitch

_________________
blow trees nigggga
avatar
sparky
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING

Posts : 2776
Join date : 2012-05-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by maybe avatar on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:56 am

i'm not writing it anymore
spinny was to meen
avatar
maybe avatar

Posts : 2800
Join date : 2012-05-18

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by appaloosa horse on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:56 am

maybe avatar wrote:i'm not writing it anymore
spinny was to meen
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

_________________

this place is old as fuck

avatar
appaloosa horse
wo ist dein gott jetzt?

Posts : 3361
Join date : 2012-05-17
Location : eaten aliiiiiiiiiiiive

View user profile http://otrepository.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by [당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:58 am

maybe avatar wrote:i'm not writing it anymore
spinny was to meen

FUCK YOU SPINNY
avatar
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd

Posts : 1979
Join date : 2012-08-26
Age : 19
Location : twitch milks an old gimmic­k™

View user profile http://ihaveabigegosoimadeasite.weebly.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by appaloosa horse on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:58 am

[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd wrote:
maybe avatar wrote:i'm not writing it anymore
spinny was to meen

FUCK YOU SPINNY
BAN HIM AMMY

_________________

this place is old as fuck

avatar
appaloosa horse
wo ist dein gott jetzt?

Posts : 3361
Join date : 2012-05-17
Location : eaten aliiiiiiiiiiiive

View user profile http://otrepository.forumotion.com

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by sparky on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:58 am

BANNING SPINNY FOR A DAY

_________________
blow trees nigggga
avatar
sparky
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING
ALL HAIL TO THE CACTUS KING

Posts : 2776
Join date : 2012-05-17

View user profile

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by [당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd on Mon Feb 11, 2013 2:59 am

tangy wrote:BANNING SPINNY FOR A DAY

THAT OUTTA TEACH HIM
avatar
[당신의 엄마] scrubl0rd

Posts : 1979
Join date : 2012-08-26
Age : 19
Location : twitch milks an old gimmic­k™

View user profile http://ihaveabigegosoimadeasite.weebly.com/

Back to top Go down

Re: Downstairs, my house has a major ant problem.

Post by Sponsored content


Sponsored content


Back to top Go down

Page 1 of 2 1, 2  Next

View previous topic View next topic Back to top

- Similar topics

 
Permissions in this forum:
You cannot reply to topics in this forum